Misconception
by transcendently
Summary: AU; "What is a man, If his chief good and market of his time / Be but to sleep and feed?" - Hamlet Watanuki really can't handle surprises. Doumeki x Watanuki


**Misconception**

In a way, Watanuki Kimihiro knew that he shouldn't be surprised, shouldn't make a fuss (as much as possible) about it, and simply ignore it as a minor flaw in midst of all of the other countless flaws of Doumeki Shizuka.

But none of that solved the problem of Watanuki hating surprises in the first place.

"YOU. DO. NOT. MIX. COLOURS. WITH. WHITE. YOU. CRETIN." Watanuki screeches, flinging sock after shirt after shorts (all in various states of multicolored-ness) at Doumeki's sleeping form, ending off with a particularly satisfying aim at Doumeki's head, in which Doumeki's own pair of underwear now covered his sleeping face. Watanuki took the time to gloat, fists upon hips, and quite certain that _yes_: somewhere in the underground world of laundry vigilantes, he had now been crowned almighty God of Justice.

Except for the fact that Doumeki went right on sleeping.

Watanuki picks up the last sock left in the laundry basket and lobs it at Doumeki's head which bounces harmlessly off, as well as makes several strangling motions (disregarding the fact that it might be difficult for Doumeki to see it with boxer shorts over his eyes and being unconscious at the same time) before leaving with his nose in the air, mostly assured that he's gotten the point and everything was okay between them.

Except the same thing happens the next week.

And the week after that.

And the wee-- okay, so it's only been five days, but even so, Watanuki couldn't handle it, trying to sniff out any sign of unbearable remorse or guilt. And so far, besides for a few instances of subtle half-smiles whenever Watanuki almost landed face first onto the ground or goes really, really red for whatever reason, Watanuki didn't detect a thing.

Which at this time, Watanuki decides to take affirmative action. Which came in the form of a hard stare, crossed arms, and a "We need to talk. Preferably now, if that's okay with you."

Doumeki spares him a glance. "What?"

Watanuki pulls out his white-but-not-exactly-white-now-with-a-rather-yellow-and-green-tint-to-it shirt from behind his back and shoves it front of Doumeki's face. "See this?"

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"Your school shirt."

"And what is the colour of our school shirts?"

"It'll be nice if you could tone down the condescending attitude."

The shirt in front of Doumeki's face shook threateningly. "JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION."

"White." Here Watanuki huffed and pointed at a particularly large splotch in the middle of the shirt. "And what is the colour _now_?"

A pause, and then: "Off-white."

"It's an atrocious tie-dye of LEMON-YELLOW and CHARTREUSE you disgusting imbecile!" Watanuki cries, flinging the shirt into Doumeki's face and points into the taller man's face. "I'm not in this relationship to be endlessly tormented by your inability to do anything right!" A small gasp as the words flew out of Watanuki's mouth, and he hurries to formulate an apology before Doumeki pulls the shirt from his face, grasps Watanuki's shoulders and confesses: "I'm colorblind."

Oh. _Oh._

Silence reigned in the kitchen, as Watanuki stares up at Doumeki, who spots the crumpled shirt and bends down to pick it up, pulling at the fabric. "It's okay, I'll wear it."

"What! No, that's not fair to you at all, I--"

"As long as you remember to bring snacks to archery practice tomorrow."

And on cue, Watanuki flares in uprighteous anger, proclaiming Doumeki's utter lack of doing anything well besides eating and sleeping, which lasted for most of the night until the next morning, when Doumeki pulls on the ruined shirt along with matching ruined slacks and gets blatantly stared at by everyone at school. Which kind of makes Watanuki's heart flutter slightly (only slightly, mind you) and terribly embarrassed, but when Doumeki quietly takes Watanuki's hands into his own on the way home, he decides that Doumeki really wasn't all that useless afterall.

"You're going to have to teach me how to work the washing machine."

Well. Maybe.

End

Whew! My first HOLiC fic in awhile. I'm still testing the waters with the characterization, but I'm determined to get them down pat soon enough. xD Thank you very much for reading! :)


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